Self-Sabotage: Breaking the Cycle of Holding Yourself Back

Self-sabotage is a pattern of behaviour where individuals consciously or unconsciously act against their own best interests, undermining their goals and happiness. It often stems from deep-rooted fears, low self-esteem, or unresolved past experiences. People may procrastinate, over-think, or engage in negative self-talk, creating barriers that prevent them from achieving success or maintaining healthy relationships.

At its core, self-sabotage is a defence mechanism

The mind attempts to protect itself from perceived failure or rejection by avoiding situations that could lead to discomfort or vulnerability. For example, someone might avoid applying for a dream job because they fear not being good enough, or they may push away a supportive partner to avoid potential heartbreak. In doing so, they create the very outcomes they fear most—failure, isolation, and disappointment.

Breaking the cycle of self-sabotage begins with self-awareness. Recognising destructive patterns and understanding your emotional roots is the first step towards change. Practising self-compassion, setting realistic goals, and challenging limiting beliefs can help rewire thought patterns. Seeking support from a therapist can also provide tools to manage negative behaviours and develop healthier coping strategies.

Ultimately, overcoming self-sabotage is an act of self-liberation. It means learning to trust yourself, embracing imperfection, and allowing success and happiness to unfold naturally. When you confront your fears with courage and compassion, you can reclaim control over their lives — and open the door to your full potential.